No wonder some women are unconsciously passive aggressive when expressing anger, sadness, or frustration. For years, they have been subjected to so much gaslighting that they can no longer express themselves in a way that feels authentic to them.
They say, “I’m sorry” before giving their opinion. In an email or text message, they place a smiley face next to a serious question or concern, thereby reducing the impact of having to express their true feelings.
You know how it looks: “You’re late :D ”
These are the same women who stay in relationships they don’t belong in, who don’t follow their dreams, who withdraw from the kind of life they want to live.” —
I hate when people claim that women are crazy or complicated or don’t know what they want because fuck you. When a woman is vocal about her opinions, desires, feelings, you call her a bitch or crazy or hysterical. Women have been taught that the only way to communicate while maintaining their physical and emotional safety is to be indirect.
i feel like i have to filter my feelings somehow at all times. i made someone cry a few weeks ago at school. i didn’t even insult him. i was expressing a critique about his art. at art school. when the guys do it, they’re informed and ‘probably right.’ when the women do it, we’re crazy overachievers. i find myself having to say, ‘i mean, maybe it’s just me, but…’ or ‘well, this is just my opinion…’ all the time. why am i afraid to say what i really think when no one else seems to be?
There are so many times that I have to be very careful about how I say things, because I’m instantly labeled as a ‘bitch’. I’m really effin’ tired of it.
I’m gonna watch Women’s Murder Club, another show Angie Harmon (Jane Rizzoli) played a homicide detective in. It looks interesting, and it’s all women. My favorite kind ;)
Yay :). Another fan! I hope you enjoy it :).
“I even saw an attractive handicapped woman. If the handicapped women are beautiful, just imagine how beautiful the normal ones are.”
Yeah… Ableism goes here.
Thinking about Katy Perry’s last video. If she’s joining army as a woman, why does she bind and cut her hair ? Being a military woman doens’t mean she has to look like a boy, right ?
And under DADT she could still get kicked out of the military for being trans*. So… she wouldn’t want to either.
So I am at Emerald City Comic-Con. If you’re there too, drop me an ask or something. Anyway. I have a cane. And by the end of today I was leaning on it heavily. I needed it bad and my knees are still screaming something fierce. By the end of it, my hips were aching and my feet were made of pain. A few people noticed how bad I was limping and then offered me chairs while they were making sketches for me. It was super nice of them, but my pride took a couple hits.
Saw a woman on a power scooter while I was waiting in front of Katie Cook’s booth to buy some of her paintings. Beware going over there, you’re going to want all of the paintings. I wanted to ask her how she got around, what it was like, was it comfortable, and how expensive it was. It’s something I am seriously starting to consider and that makes me cry a little.
Something that I’ve started telling myself lately is that it’s just pain. It’s just fibromyalgia pain. And while just is probably too strong a word, that’s sort of how I feel. It’s not like my body is actually damaged. There is no actual damage being done to my body with this pain. I just suck it up and carry on, because it’s just pain. And that’s part of why I am leery of getting a scooter. I mean… Shouldn’t I be able to suck it up and carry on through the pain? How would that affect my mobility? Do I really have it bad enough that I would need a scooter? (Or other device. Options include a walker and a wheelchair. Wheelchair wouldn’t help, because then my arms would just be tired instead of my legs, really).
The last question is unfortunately getting a resounding yes from me right now. Admittedly, cons are a pretty specific circumstance. I mean, sometimes I can run and gad about like a normal eighteen year old (although sometimes I pay for that physically). Some days I have to hobble with my cane. Some days I should probably be using at least a walker and some days I am so tired I just want to go to sleep in the field, and those are the days that I wish I had a scooter.
But I don’t know the first step to go about acquiring one, and whether or not it would be covered by insurance, and so on and so forth. I suppose a doctor would know, but I don’t really have one of those at the moment. I should get one, especially since a GP is the first line of treatment against fibromyalgia, but getting a trans friendly doctor who is also willing to work with the whole fibromyalgia thing is going to be a bit of a challenge. So I’m in this quandry right now, and I don’t really want to call my mother simply because… Well, she’ll probably tell me to exercise more and eat more fruits and veggies and that will solve the problem. I’ve been eating lots of fruits and veggies lately though, and that’s not really been helping as much as I would hope it might. Still ache. Still feel broken. Probably should have brought my fitness drink with me. That might help…
The tl;dr version:
Mike is an invalid and is debating whether or not he needs a power scooter or other mobility device. But read the whole story, it’s a good one :).
Audre Lorde (via aristotlelovewords)
Audre Lorde (via feminishblog)
I write for those trans* people who do not speak or cannot speak because they are terrified, because we are taught to respect fear more than ourselves. We’ve been taught that silence will save us, but it won’t.
Reblogged this for Crow.
Is it just me, or does Angie Harmon look like she’s back in the Lindsay Boxer role in the new R&I promo?
Should be interesting.
Especially since I’m in college and have to walk across campus to class.
Please don’t use the word cripple. It’s not your word; you can use it when you’ve been on those crutches for years.
Another note for this… You can whine when you crutch across campus for far longer than that. You’re done in two weeks. I get to keep hobbling across campus every day until I’m done.
Hunger Games has the 3rd biggest opening in movie history.
An action flick starring a girl.
Who isn’t an emaciated stick.
Who isn’t a princess.
Whose journey is motivated by her sister, not a man.
Who is not sexually used, abused, active or even objectified much.
3rd biggest opening in movie history. Spawning a franchise.
Let’s just… let’s just think about that.
Let’s just bask in the glow.
It’s some of the early life stuff you miss out on. I didn’t get to learn how to shave from my father. I learned at a trans* support group. I googled how to tie a tie because my dad didn’t want to teach his daughter something so masculine. My mother bought me my first suit, because my dad didn’t want to help me. Instead of being gradually initiated into the culture of male things, I initiated myself.
And… To me, that’s really sad. I missed out on stuff that’s… Not necessarily essential to being a boy, but it’s being a boy in a community. I didn’t get any of the fun bonding activities because my dad was so fixed on me being a daughter that he couldn’t see me for who I am. I’m probably romanticizing it, sure. But there is a whole cultural experience I missed out on and that makes me sad.
There should totally be a gender hero… Like guitar hero… Only with gender! You can play chords with penises, boobs, vaginas, man chests, and identities! All kinds of bodies, all kinds of gender identities!
ALL OF THEM MAKE BEAUTIFUL MUSIC TOGETHER!!!